Ode to the Fathers

Throughout history, humans have been concerned with discovering the best way to raise their children. Although the influence and love of mothers for their children has received the majority of attention, it is clear to me that dads matter as much as moms do.  Fathers’ respective parenting styles influence their children’s social and sexual orientation, self-control, self-esteem, empathy, altruism, and moral reasoning.  My belief is based on personal experience, both as a child and later as a father, and also numerous examples from art and history.  A notable example from the world of art is the sculpture “The Death of Laocoon,” which stands in the Vatican. It depicts the agony of a father as he attempts to save his sons and himself from two giant sea serpents, which were sent by Athena or Poseidon to punish him. 

Sparta’s warrior society was centered on loyalty to the state. Spartan boys were drafted at age 7 and practiced rigorous military education that emphasized duty, discipline and endurance. They stayed in the military until age 30 and were discouraged from getting married. If they did, they had to live separately from their wives—residing in the barracks with their fellow soldiers.  When Spartan men departed for battle, Spartan mothers and wives presented them with their shields and told them “η ταν η επι τας,» which translates as “come back with your shield, or on it.” In other words, do not surrender.

My parents raised their children lovingly. They taught us to love, care, and to serve one another.  They believed that successful families are established and maintained on principles of love, compassion and work.  My father did not take us on vacation, as he did not take a day off during his forty years of practice.  We knew that he was working hard to support us all. My parents’ unwavering commitment to family life provided stability and made us feel secure and protected.  Their model provided by their lifestyle and principles was the best gift that any human could have given us. In the picture, my father shows his love for his grandson—the same way I do. 

When I was growing up we lived in humble homes, complete with small gardens that were used to grow flowers and herbs, such as oregano, thyme, and basil.  To this day, I am overcome with emotion as I recall the familiar aroma of the lemon trees that grew alongside me in my beloved Athenian neighborhood.  Since cars were rare commodities at the time, our street served as a glorious soccer field—hosting innumerable unstructured, fiercely contested “backyard games.” 

In this picture, my brother can be seen playing soccer with his two sons (in the middle), and a friend and his son.

I visited El Capitan at the Yosemite National Park in California with my four children in the year 2002.  I am fortunate to have good children who have grown up to be compassionate, caring for one another and for the people around them.  I do not know if this was due my parenting style or because of their genes.  I followed my father’s example as I also believe that successful families are established on the principles of love, compassion and work.  I tried to lead by example instead of being disciplinarian and/or setting high expectations.  After all I am an Athenian and not a Spartan!